


this too shall pass

by the_crownless_queen



Series: things you said [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Because I can, Future Fic, Grieving, Immortal Husbands, M/M, because my brain is cruel with me sometimes, nebulous future timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:25:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_crownless_queen/pseuds/the_crownless_queen
Summary: "Alec didn’t cry when he heard the news."-- Immortality has its drawbacks.





	this too shall pass

**Author's Note:**

> For 'things you said when I was crying'.
> 
> Em, suffer with me.

Alec didn’t cry when he heard the news. He didn’t cry at the funeral either — something in him just shuttered close, like he was living in a daze.

Magnus worried. Of course he did. He hovered around Alec, never quite sure if his husband wanted space or company — to tell the truth, he wasn’t sure Alec knew it himself.

Mortality had always been somewhat of a sore point for them — at first because Alec had been mortal while Magnus wasn’t, and then because Alec was and the rest of his family wasn’t.

Alec had reassured him time and time again that this wasn’t a choice he regretted, and by now Magnus certainly believed him, but he also knew how much Alec loved his family, and how hard every loss hit him.

It was one thing to know you’d outlive most everyone you knew, after all, but it was another entirely to stand at their funeral — from old age, amazingly enough — not looking a day older than thirty.

Magnus knew this pain well, unfortunately, and though he would always love the way Alec had chosen to lengthen his own lifespan to stay with him, he also wished he could have spared his husband this particular brand of suffering.

They had both known more than enough of that already.

Alec insisted they walk back home after the funeral. Shadowhunters in the Institute nodded at them politely as they passed by, and Alec nodded back absently. His grip on Magnus’ hand was almost painfully tight, and he was staring straight ahead — toward the exit.

They walked back in silence. Words didn’t seem enough to encompass Alec’s loss — Magnus’ too, because after years spent at Alec’s side, his husband’s family had become his own as well — so he didn’t try. Instead, he just kept holding onto Alec’s hand, occasionally caressing the skin softly with his thumb.

.

The day was lovely. Alec couldn’t stop thinking about that, about how this day was so nice. It was a perfect spring day: the sun shone high in a clear blue sky, and there was just enough wind to ease the building heat.

He couldn’t stop thinking about how Izzy would have loved this day — had, in fact, loved days just like this one all her life. Growing up, she had used to wake him up earlier in the early spring days, if they were nice enough. She would drag him out to smell the new flowers, even though they were both allergic. When Jace had joined them, the way their faces turned red as they cried and sneezed from the pollen had always made him laugh, even though he never failed to carry all the tissues they could ever need.

In the end, he was glad to reach the loft. It had taken him a long time to stop thinking of it as ‘Magnus’ place’ and refer to it as ‘theirs’, even though he had considered it home so very quickly. He was somewhat reassured to see that he still found the sight of the building as uplifting as ever, despite not really being in the mood for joy at the moment.

It was nice to remember that happiness was a thing he’d felt though, and that he’d feel it again.

Magnus opened the door with a small twist of his wrist and a burst of blue sparkles, and the door clicked open. Alec bypassed the living-room almost entirely, barely pausing to chuck off the white jacket that felt like a noose around his neck, and headed for the balcony.

Behind him, he heard Magnus rummaging through his things, and moments later his husband joined him, slipping a cold glass in his hand, liquid sloshing into it gently. Alec raised it to his lips without even bothering to look down, trusting Magnus to have picked up something he’d like.

But rather than the alcoholic burn he’d expected, Alec only felt the coolness of water. His drink almost went down the wrong way, but it did snap him out of his daze, if only a little.

He looked at Magnus questioningly, and his husband smiled softly, putting his right hand over Alec’s left, which was still on the ledge, and squeezed it gently.

Magnus sighed, his eyes drifting to the horizon, index finger tapping against his own glass of water in a nervous tic Alec had learned to mean Magnus was about to reveal something he felt ashamed of.

“What is it?” Alec asked, keeping his voice low, turning his left hand around so he could hold Magnus’ properly.

Again, Magnus sighed, but this time his eyes refocused on Alec, before they drifted back to the drink Alec was holding.

“You don’t really want alcohol right now. Trust me, if you start drinking today, you’re not going to want to stop.” His lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I would know. Don’t do that to yourself, Alec.”

“I…” Alec trailed off, at a loss for words. He swallowed, feeling like he had something painfully stuck in his throat. His grip tightened on the glass. “I just don’t know what to do.” The admission hurt and it made his eyes burn, to say it out loud, but it also helped ease the ache in his chest.

Magnus’ eyes softened and he put down his glass. “Come here,” he said, pulling Alec into a hug.

Thankful beyond words, Alec hugged him back, tightening his hold around Magnus’ shoulders. He buried his face against Magnus’ neck, and for the first time since he had gotten the news, Alec let himself truly cry for what he had just lost.

“You’ll be okay,” Magnus whispered against his hair. “One day, I swear you’ll be okay again. It’ll get better — not _good_ , but better.”

It wasn’t anything Alec didn’t already know, but somehow, hearing it from Magnus, hearing it _now_ , made it more meaningful. It made it matter more.

Alec grasped onto the hope Magnus had just given him, and held on tight.


End file.
